Self esteem
by Azura436
Summary: Alec is being used and not feeling good about it. What will happen? Inspired by Offspring's self esteem. MA...kinda


This piece of crap is inspired by the song self esteem of The Offspring. There's a link at the bottom if you want to see the lyrics.  
  
DA: You know the drill.I don't own them, just the plot.  
  
Self esteem  
  
He heard it again, that knock on his door. He had heard the same knock almost every night at around the same time for almost 3 months now. He knew it was her, her drunk in misery and looking for comfort. Trying to ignore it, he raised the volume of his TV. He knew what she wanted; all she asked for was some physical comfort, that's all she had been asking for for the past months. And he gave into her, even though he knew she wouldn't be there in the morning, even though he knew nothing would be the same between them.  
  
He had given her what she wanted and had asked nothing in return. He didn't mind the physical aspect of the thing, just the consequences it brought and also the fact that he knew she would never want him for who he was.  
  
Two nights ago he had made her desert, trying to make her forget why she had come to his apartement in the first place. It had worked and they actually had a real conversation for the first time in months. After talking with her for several hours and even making plans for the next night, he had hoped things would be back to the kind-of friendship they had had before this whole ordeal had begun.  
  
He had waited and waited and waited. He knew after the first 20 minutes she was late that she would be a no show. But still he waited, refusing to let his hopes be crashed. Dejectedly he had finally gotten out of his apartment and headed to Crash only to see the shadow of her footsteps escape the bar as he closed in on her and OC's table.  
  
"I'm sorry boo...she's just so messed up...things with Logan are..."  
  
"Yeah I know...let's just talk about something else."  
  
He'd tried to get drunk, for real this time. He couldn't believe the stupid bastard he'd been with anything involving her. Always there when she asked. He had never actually confronted her about the relationship she had dumped on their heads. So, although the alcohol wasn't any stronger than any other night, he had made up his mind to speak to her next time she would show up in his doorway looking for some kind of comfort yet again.  
  
Now that's where he was. Sitting in his living room, his practiced speech at the back of his mind. Unable to get up and act out one of the multiple scenarios he had made up in his head through the whole day. He finally got up and slowly made his way to the door and just as he was putting his hand on the knob. He heard it. A small sound, a sound that sounded strangely like a purr.  
  
It said: "Aleccc."  
  
He lost his nerve right there and then, damned be the consequences, it's not like he wasn't used to the abuse.  
  
He ripped the door open and the scent of her pheromones hit him like a tank. Unable to control himself he almost ripped her clothes off when she jumped on him. He had enough common sense to close the door before finally bringing her to his bedroom, almost running to get there faster.  
  
Once they were in the room they ensued to a night of raw passion. Roughness in their every move, their animal instinct just wanting more.  
  
Even though he had succumbed to her heat, there was still this piece of his mind that wouldn't let his speech go from him. So, while he made her reach ecstasy he made up his mind again. This time though, he wouldn't let anything take away his will.  
  
So when Max finally woke up from her nap. Ready for her nightly escape as any other night. She was surprised to find the bed cold and empty. Only a piece of paper lying on the floor next to her clothes.  
  
She picked it up and read it.  
  
Max,  
  
I realise as I'm writing this to you that I can't even employ the polite form to say dear, because we both know that would be a lie. You're not dear to me, you're just in my bones. Somehow I lose my control when you come every night and ask me to take you. Now, although I must admit that I greatly enjoy the physical part of our affair, just the fact that you want nothing of me and seem to be the one in control makes me want to puke. You abused me, used me and I let you do it without any resistance. I let you drive me mad, well now, it's my turn. Try to go on with your life as usual without me. I won't bet there, you'll never see me again.  
  
Say hi to OC and Sketch. Oh and also send my love to DEAR Logan, thank him for making you come crawling to me.  
  
You can kiss your Ninja goodbye.  
  
This is my way of getting back my self esteem.  
The one you used to know as Alec  
  
Just as she finished reading his note she heard a revving sound outside. She ran to the window only to witness Alec running off on her bike.  
  
Furious she went through his apartment to make sure he had really gone. That he wasn't only trying to teach her a lesson by taking everything away from her.  
  
Room by room she opened the doors to find nothing but emptiness. She kicked the mattress until it wasn't recognisable anymore, trying to take her anger away. How dared he change the game on her? How dared he take her baby away?  
  
She crumbled on the floor, trying not to loose the bit of control she had left. But as she played the past months in her head she couldn't control herself, a sob escaped her.  
  
Miles away, a tall blonde man who used to be called Alec was riding on a black motorcycle, feeling the wind rush on his face. He felt free, empowered and happy. He had finally gotten his dignity back and did what he had always threatened to do. Leave the crappy life he had in Seattle and go away in search of something more.  
  
~That's it! I wrote it in about 40 minutes so no, it's not a masterpiece, yes there must be about a million mistakes in there and I'll most probably get around to correcting it one of these days but not right now. Hope you enjoyed it or at least had a laugh at my suckiness. In any case please review, I'd appreciate it~  
  
Az 


End file.
